SlutsUnlimited is an amazing, well-written, witty, honest, and brave blog written by my friend Lori.
I frequently recommend this blog to friends who are going through a rough patch – particularly those who feel frustrated by trying to live up to some specific standard or follow some traditional formula. Lori has had many setbacks in her life, some of which would cripple most people, and she has come through shining. It has not been easy. It has not been pretty at times, but she has navigated her course with honesty, courage, and humor.
I have always admired people who are self-aware. People who know their faults and weaknesses – and by this I mean not the people who just shrug their shoulders and say, “Well, that’s just the way I am – deal with it.” I mean people who are honest about who they are and the mistakes they’ve made and who strive to be better.
Not knowing yourself – not knowing what you want – not knowing the reasons why you act the way you act – Could there be a greater tragedy?
If I run into you on the street and ask you how you are doing I do not expect you to tell me that you are having an affair, or are still stoned from last night, or got drunk during your lunch break, or woke up with a stranger in your bed with only vague recollections of the night before. It’s really none of my business; if you want to tell me, okay. But I don’t expect you to shame other people for the same behaviors you are doing. Hypocrisy enrages me. Enrages me. Pointing a finger does not mean that the same crime will automatically fall away from you.
However, with individuals I have intimate relationships with, I don’t want to be fooled. I don’t want energy spent on trying to convince me that they are someone they are not. Chances are I will like the real person better – or at least have a great deal more respect for them.
So, this is my original point, which has slightly detoured. Be brave. Do what feels right for you. Be honest. Don’t hurt anyone else in the process. And if you need inspiration on someone who is trying (and in my opinion succeeding) in writing their own rules, read Lori’s blog. It is quite fantastic.
To quote Mark Twain – Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.