I am in Penthouse Magazine

I have a four-page spread in Penthouse Magazine.

The November 2011 issue of Penthouse Magazine

I never thought I would be saying that. I never thought I would be texting my brother, “Hey, guess what – your sister is in Penthouse.” I never thought I would be showing my friends at work my photos in Penthouse Magazine. But it’s true. All of it. November 2011. Me in Penthouse Magazine. Or, at least my photographs are. But it sounds better saying it the other way.

A sampling of the November Issue

Early this year, I was hired by Penthouse Magazine to shoot the Golden G-String Awards. They are an annual event held at the Penthouse Club in the French Quarter. A four-night competition, they start every year on Ash Wednesday (right on the heels of Mardi Gras) and end that Saturday. Dancers and performers from around the country come to compete for the coveted title of Golden G-String. Through my friend Richele Pitalo, who is the marketing director, I had been fortunate enough to actually be a judge (and get some friends judgeships) at past competitions. They have new judges every night. The total scores are added up and at the end on Saturday they crown the winner.

I take judging VERY seriously. Some of the categories include: appearance, body, costume, charisma, dancing, etc. I carefully mark down 7.5, 8.3, 6.7, 9.1 etc. in each category and then add them up for my final score. The dancers are typically the best in the business and have elaborate costumes and themes.

Shay

Last year, I asked Richele about the details involved in photographing the event. She informed me that they were actually looking to expand their options in regards to photographers and I asked if I could submit for consideration. Yes!

I put together a cd of mainly burlesque shots and beauty modeling shots and sent them to Cheryl Gomez in Florida, the manager of club licensing operations at Penthouse.  I met Cheryl a few years ago at the awards. Very tall, very beautiful blond. We sat next to each other and she cracked me up during the competition all the while I tried not to breathe garlic on her (dinner at Lola’s). Cheryl emailed me back and said while she liked the photos, they needed to see more of my action shots: sports, concerts, etc. Cheryl told me the G-String Awards were like an intense athletic competition and they needed to see more photographs that reflected that. I agreed and sent her another cd, which was forwarded on to the bigwigs in New York, and voilà! I got the gig. First female photographing the event! I was very excited.

Krystal, one of my favorites. A lot of fun!

While I was confidently familiar with the event, I still appreciated the sage advice Cheryl gave me about it being an athletic completion. Was that ever an understatement! It was more like a hardcore sporting event on sparkly steroids.

My mission: capture the event and get flattering photos of all the women.

My obstacles: a packed house of rowdy men that I needed to maneuver around at all times while trying not to block their views. Squeezing into small spaces to get the best angles while at the same time delicately turning down men who offer you the best seat in the house – their lap.

Each song and routine has elaborate set and light changes. You want to get the best angle, but are always mindful that you don’t want customers in the shot.

It’s loud. It’s crowded. It’s smoky. And you are carrying at least 20 pounds of bulky gear on you.

At all times you are dodging glitter, soapy bath water, whipped cream, hot wax, melted chocolate, body paint, sparks (from a grinder on a metal chastity belt) and yes, at times, milk. I wasn’t quick enough one night and got a large dose of red glitter smack in the face. The dancer, while apologetic, also couldn’t helping laughing – “I marked you!”

Ms. Gia Nova

But these are some of the perks: The staff is all courteous, professional, and always ready to assist you if you need anything. The dancers, which you have been able to hang out with and get to know, are all funny and some even downright (and they have the best stories) hysterical. They are also always agreeable to come over and chat with any one of your star-struck friends.

And speaking of friends, it’s one of the few gigs where it’s very easy to convince your friends to come watch you work. It was fun to chat with them on breaks and get their impressions of the dancers. And thanks to Shane, Lisa, DEUCE, Matthew, Stephen, Amber, John, Lauren, Lori, Michael, Abby, Dave, Glenn, and Lacy (I hope I am not forgetting any – sorry if I am) who came out to watch and/or judge the show. 

And shooting the event also led to my favorite rollergirl-sighting story ever. It usurped my previous favorite. Years ago when I was at City Park shooting retired NFL Players, this guy walked over and stood right in front of them and exclaimed, “You’re SmasHer; you’re my favorite rollergirl!” And the football players all looked at me quizzically while I asked the man to please get out of my shot. This time topped it. Moving through the crowds at the Penthouse Club, I felt someone grab my arm. A couple was sitting at one of the side stages. “Oh my god! You are SmasHer! We have a photo of you on our television set that we look at every day. You’re our favorite. We get our picture taken with you every year at the bull run.” They asked if they could take a photo with me and I hesitantly agreed. It’s one thing to be in jeans and a t-shirt with no makeup on. It’s another to know to that the photo will probably be somewhat of a let down since in their other photos of you, you are wearing a pointy coned bra covered in roses and frilly red panties. One of the featured dancers who was nearby asked, “Why were they getting their picture taken with YOU?” I told her it was a long story. Even better, it was also the night that a large group of rollergirls were there and sitting front and center in the audience cheering and clapping.

So, once again: I am in Penthouse Magazine. Pick up a copy and let me know what you think. And once again, thank you to my unsung Photoshop hero Scott Frilot, who helped out with some of the photo editing. He may not have gotten credit in the magazine, but I would like to give him credit here. He is a good friend and an excellent artist.

I am in Penthouse Magazine. I can’t stop saying it. Makes me laugh every time. Life is funny and strange and wonderful!

Me and the ladies... I am the one wearing the top.