Because I Must
Zelda Queen Asher
Although she contributes almost nothing to my creative endeavors except for inserting her opinion (and big ass) on my projects, in order to maintain a semi-calm and peaceful home environment, I must recognize another member of the Asher artistic team.
While Zelda does occasionally “work” as a model, her fidgety disposition, demands of shooting her at the right angle, and unwillingness to compromise make her difficult to work with. Nevertheless, I still must recognize her. Besides, she wouldn’t stop raising hell if I didn’t.
Here are the Zelda’s answers to the Proust questionnaire.
Zelda Queen Asher (aka Z, Her Royal Highness)
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
A permanent doorman and a running faucet at my constant disposal.
2. What is your greatest fear?
Cat food shortage.
3. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Attila the Hun and Marylyn Monroe.
4. Which living person do you most admire?
Me. If all questions are going to be this easy you are just wasting my time.
5. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My occasional compassion for stupid people.
6. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Their lack of obedience.
7. What is your greatest extravagance?
I don’t have enough extravagances! Why are you bringing this up?
8. On what occasion do you lie?
I lie around all day on whatever I want and give orders.
9. What do you dislike most about your appearance?
Seriously, how can you ask that question? Have you not seen me? There is nothing to dislike. You’re starting to piss me off.
10. When and where were you happiest?
Full belly, wet hair, laying on a clean load of laundry while someone admires me.
11. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
That’s a stupid question.
12. If you could change one thing about your family what would it be?
My life would be a lot easier without 2 dogs.
13. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Being the only cat in this household. Finally!
14. If you died and came back as a person or thing what do you think it would be?
Me.
15. What is your most treasured possession?
My extra toes. And Glenn’s lap.
16. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Not being able to get what I want at the exact moment I want it and then getting squeaked.
17. Who are your heroes in real life?
If pressed…. I guess I would have to say Mommy.
18. What is it that you most dislike?
Pearl, the neighbor cat. This is my street, bitch!
19. How would you like to die?
In glory.
20. What is your motto?
Open the damn door. NOW!
The Ladies
The Paws